Baseball Bugs

Baseball Bugs is a 1946 Looney Tunes cartoon starring Bugs Bunny, directed by Friz Freleng.

Plot
A baseball game in New York City was in progress. The two teams playing were the visiting Gas-House Gorillas and the home team, the Tea Totallers. By that point, the visiting team was dominating team the entire game and the Tea Totallers were being pushed around. One of the Gorillas even belted the umpire into the ground after disagreeing with his call (he first said "BALL" but after the beat down, he changed it to "STRIKE" and faints). Shortly after, the Gorillas went into a conga line making hit after hit after hit.

Bugs Bunny, who was watching the game from hole on the field, was fed up with the game and the Gas-House Gorillas playing dirty. He started to yell that he could beat them all, all by himself. The Gorillas heard him and accepted his challenge. And now Bugs is playing the entire team.

First, Bugs was pitching & catching and after two pitches & catches, he quickly gave the Gorillas three outs thanks to his slow ball.

Next he went up at bat. On his first time hitting the ball, the Gorilla that accepted Bugs' challenge was about to tag him out, but he hooped & hollered at the sight of a pin-up picture, giving Bugs a safe run home and thereby scoring his first run. On his second hit while running the bases, that same Gorilla grabbed the umpire and took his place in an attempt to put Bugs out. That obviously didn't work as they went into an argument, which ended with Bugs pulling his time-honored word-switching gag so that the umpire demands that he accept the safe call or go to the showers. He gives in, but the faux-umpire gets wise too late as Bugs scores his second run. Thirdly, another Gorilla runs to catch the ball ("I got it! I got it!! I GOT IT!!", he yells). The ball hits him so hard in the face that it drives him under the ground, and a tombstone pops up with the epitaph "He got it." Fourth hit saw another Gorilla smoking a cigar also taking it in the face, smashing the cigar and driving the fielder up against the fence, in front of a billboard that reads "Does your tobacco taste different lately?" Last hit had the ball hit each Gorilla player like they were elements from a pinball game. The scoreboard even flashes numbers and lit up the word "TILTED".

Bugs is back on the pitching & catching side. He just made a pitch and the tricky Gorilla hit it and ran around the diamond. But Bugs is waiting for him and tags him. As the Gorilla is hallucinating, Bugs holds up a sign that says "Was this trip really necessary?"

A little song asking for the current scores was played and the scores show that Bugs is now in the lead 96-95.

The scene now shifts to the last half of the ninth meaning that this would be the last part of the game. According to the announcer, the Gorillas can win with a home run. The tricky Gorilla attempted to harness that win by chopping down a tree and making it a makeshift bat. Bugs attempted to paste this pathetic palooka with a powerful paralyzing perfect pachydermous percussion pitch, but it is to no avail as the ball was hit. So in desperation, Bugs chases after it. Bugs first takes a cab, but the tricky Gorilla is driving it and steered Bugs away from the flying ball. So Bugs then got out and takes the bus which takes him to the Umpire State Building (Empire State Building). Bugs goes up an elevator, goes up a flagpole, flew his baseball in the air and finally catches the ball. The tricky Gorilla came to the top of the building as well and corners Bugs. (This was assumed that he was following Bugs all this time.) But the umpire also reaches the top but by climbing and calls the Gorilla out. The Gorilla yells back at him, to which the Statue of Liberty comes to life, replying to the Gorilla, ("That's what the man said, you heard what he said, he said that, you...!") with Bugs echoing her words as the iris closes around Bugs.

Transcript
A crowd is seen in some baseball stands, cheering on their teams. The camera cuts to a baseball game. The pitcher throws the ball, which is hit by the batter, who then begins a run to first base.

Announcer: And here we are folks, at the famous polo grounds. It's been a one-sided, knock-down, drag em out baseball game right from the very first inning, with the visiting team {cuts to a scoreboard} the Burning Gas-House Gorillas {the score by the gorillas changes to 40} giving the home team, the Tea Totallers, {cuts back to field} a slapping they'll never forget. {The pitcher throws the ball} Baseball fans-- {With a loud smack, the batter hits the ball over the far wall} Oh! There goes a screaming liner into left field. ''{Close-up on the ball, which has grown a face and is screaming as it flies through the air. The scene cuts back to the field, where a large man with a cigar and five o'clock shadow is holding a baseball}'' The home team hasn't a chance, but they're in there punching, nevertheless. {pans left to reveal the batter, who is an elderly man in grey uniform}

Elderly Batter: I'm only ninety-three and a half years old.

The pitcher winds up, performing several gestures as he does so, before he launches the ball towards the batter. The camera cuts to the pitcher and catcher, who is also a large man with five o'clock shadow. As the ball approaches, the catcher steps up and catches the ball before it can cross the plate. The elderly man swings his bat in vain. The catcher throws it back to the pitcher, who winds up again and throws the ball towards the batter once again. The ball misses the plate, but instead goes much higher than he intended. We cut to the umpire, who doesn't look nearly as tough as the baseball team.

Umpire: Ball!

One of the members of the team comes up to him and, with a growl, pounds him into the ground. The umpire slowly comes back up.

Umpire: I don't know what could've come over me, sir. I meant to say strike. {He faints}

The camera cuts back to the announcer.

Announcer: Now listen to that crowd roar, as the Gas-House Gorillas go up to bat again. Boy! What a game!

We cut to the baseball field, where we see the pitcher, who is equally as elderly as the batter. The pitcher throws the ball, but quickly ducks as it comes back towards him with a smack. This is repeated a couple times, until the screen pans left and we see the batters, who are hitting the balls with ease. The screens cuts out, and we see that the entire baseball diamond is filled with batters who are crossing the bases, each holding the shoulders of the person in front of him. The pitcher continues to pitch and duck. We then cut to the scoreboard, where the Gas-House Gorillas's score rises by one point every time the ball is hit. The crowd wildly cheers.

The camera fades to Bugs Bunny, who is sitting in his rabbit hole while he eats a carrot on a hot dog bun.

Bugs Bunny: Boo! Boo! Boo! Nah, you Gas-House Gorillas are a bunch of dirty players. {Takes a bite off his sandwich} Why, I could beat them in a ball game with one hand tied behind my back all by myself. Yeah. {Cuts to the pitcher, who angrily turns around to face the rabbit} Yeah, get up there and Wham! a homer. Wham! another homer. {camera zooms out, revealing three of the Gas-House Gorillas players} Wham! Wham! Wham! Wham! Wha-- {notices the players} Nyah. {eats some peanuts} What's up, Doc? (animation by Virgil Ross)

Pitcher: {picks up Bugs} Alright, big shot. So you think you can beat us all by yourself. {puts him down and reaches off-screen, giving him a baseball uniform} Well, you got yourself a game.

Announcer: Attention, please! Attention! There has been a slight change in the Tea Totaller line-up. Catching: Bugs Bunny. {cuts to Bugs as a pitcher, reaching into his back pocket and eating a carrot} Pitching: Bugs Bunny. Left field: Bugs Bunny. Right field: Bugs Bunny. Third base: Bugs Bunny. Center field: Bugs Bunny. {cuts to Gas-House Gorilla batter} First base: Bugs Bunny. Shortstop: Bugs Bunny. Second base: Bugs Bunny.

Bugs winds up his pitch in a series of wild movements, then throws to the batter. He then runs fast to behind the plate, assuming position as a catcher.

Bugs Bunny: {quickly} Come on! Right down the plate! Right down the ol' alley! This guy's a push-over! Come on now, boy, give it to him! ''{is hit by the ball. Camera cuts left, showing Bugs knocked out on the floor, with the ball bouncing beside him. Opening his eyes, Bugs picks up the ball and returns to the base, talking much slower}'' That's the ol' pepper, boy! That's the ol' pitchin'! That's puttin' it over the plate, boy! {throws the ball off-screen, then runs back to the mound to assume the position of pitcher, arriving just in time to catch the ball}

Bugs repeats his wind-up, but suddenly throws the ball up in the air. He pulls up his sleeves, spits on his hands, and pulls up his pants, then catches the ball again and throws it to the batter. He then goes back behind the plate as a catcher.

Bugs Bunny: {quickly} Right down the middle, boy! Gimme the big league ball, son! Now, come on! Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy-uh!

He is hit again, and the camera pans to the left, showing him knocked out. The camera fades to the mound, where Bugs is standing.

Bugs Bunny: Aah, I think I'll perplex 'em with my slowball! ''{Winds up, but releases the ball in slow-motion. Three batters come up to the ball and swing three times, but each one strikes out. Cut back to Bugs, who is in batting uniform.}'' Oh, eh, bat boy. ''{A boy with bat wings comes up, holding four bats. Bugs picks one and hits it against the plate a couple times. Cut to the pitcher, who winds up.}'' That's the kinda' step we want, kid. That's the ol' ginger ball! ''{hits ball. Cheering, he runs across the bases, only to find a member of the Gas-House Gorillas standing on home plate, ball in hand. Bugs pulls out a picture of an attractive woman, and the Gas-House Gorilla player starts to act crazily, whistling, whooping, and banging himeself on the ground, until he goes out of view. Bugs runs across the plate. Cut to a scoreboard, which now says "Bugs Bunny" in replace of "Tea Totallers." The score changes to 1-42}''

The ball is thrown again, and Bugs hits it, starting his run to first base. Cut to the umpire, who is watching the game. A Gas-House Gorilla comes up behind him and captures him, taking him behind a door. The Gorilla player comes out in umpire dress as Bugs goes for home base. Bugs slides.

Umpire: You're out!

Bugs comes up in his uniform.

Bugs Bunny: Where do ya get that malarkey, I'm safe!

Umpire: I say you're out!

Bugs Bunny: I'm safe!

Umpire: Out!

Bugs Bunny: Safe!

Umpire: Out!

Bugs Bunny: Safe!

Umpire: Out!

Bugs Bunny: Safe!

Umpire: Out!

Bugs Bunny: Out!

Umpire: Safe!

Bugs Bunny: Out!

Umpire: Safe!

Bugs Bunny: Out!

Umpire: I say you're safe, and if you don't like it, you can go to the showers!

Bugs Bunny: Okay, then, Doc. Have it your way. I'm safe. {exits the umpire's vest}

The Umpire has a smile at first, but then realizes he's been tricked. The scoreboard changes to 2-42. Cut to Bugs Bunny, again at bat. He hits the ball and takes off running. Cut to the outfielder.

Outfielder: {running} I got it! I got it! I got it!

The outfielder is hit by the ball and is buried in the ground, where a tombstone and flowers come up. The epitaph reads, "He got it." The score changes to 3-42. Cut to Bugs, once again at bat. He hits the ball. The outfielder, who is smoking a cigar, starts to run, but is hit by the ball and smashes into a fence that reads, "Does your tobacco taste different lately?" The score changes to 4-42. Cut to Bugs at bat. He hits the ball, which goes to outfield and bounces off several of the player, like bumpers on a pinball table. Each player glows after he is hit. Cut to scoreboard, where several numbers appear, until it finally says, "Tilted." Cut to Bugs as a pitcher as he is throwing the ball. The batter hits the ball and starts running the bases, only to find Bugs on home plate, who hits him with the ball.

Umpire: {popping in from the side of the camera} You're out!

The player sits on the ground while semi-transparent pictures of himself with wings float around his head, throwing baseballs. Bugs eats his carrot and holds up a sign that reads, "Was this trip really necessary?"

Announcers: {singing} What's the score, boys? What did Bugs Bunny do? Bugs, with the carrot, playing baseball today.

Single Announcer: Bugs Bunny, ninety-six. {96 appears on the scoreboard} Gas-House Gorillas, ninety-five. ''{95 appears on the scoreboard. Cut to Bugs on the mound}'' It's the last half of the ninth with Bugs leading ninety-six to ninety-five. {Cut to batter} The Gas-House Gorillas have one man on base and two outs. A home-run now would win the game for the Gorillas.

The batter runs off to a tree, which he cuts down with an axe. Cut back to the base, where he is now holding the tree as if it was a bat. Cut to Bugs on the mound.

Bugs Bunny: Eh, watch me paste this pathetic palooka with a powerful paralyzing perfect pachydermous percussion pitch.

Bugs winds up for an abnormally long time, then throws it to the batter, who hits the ball over the fence. Bugs runs out of the field and to a yellow taxi.

Bugs Bunny: Taxi! Follow that ball!

Bugs gets into the taxi, and they follow the ball. Suddenly, the car turns around, going the opposite direction.

Bugs Bunny: Hey, wait a minute, Mac, you're going the wrong way!

Bugs suddenly sees that the driver is a member of the Gas-House Gorillas. The player laughs as Bugs gets out of the taxi and into a bus. Bugs sits down and reads a newspaper as the ball flies overhead. The bus stops at the Empire State Building, and Bugs gets out and takes the elevator to the roof, where he stands on top of the flag-pole. He throws the glove into the air. The glove catches the ball and lands on Bugs's hand.

Umpire: {to the batter} You're out!

Batter: I'm out!?

Cut to the Statue of Liberty.

Statue Of Liberty: That's what the man said, you heard what he said, he said that.

Cut to Bugs, who speaks simultaneously with the Statue.

Bugs Bunny: {fading out} That's what he said. He said that. That's what he said. He said that. That's what he said.

A Looney Tunes drum appears. Bugs bursts through the drum and takes a bite out of his carrot.

Bugs Bunny: And that's the end!

Credits

 * Michael Maltese - Story
 * Animation:
 * Manuel Perez
 * Ken Champin
 * Virgil Ross
 * Gerry Chiniquy
 * Layout and Background
 * Hawley Pratt
 * Paul Julian
 * Mel Blanc - Voice characterization
 * Carl Stalling - Musical director
 * I. Freleng - Director

Trivia
A future baseball cartoon called Gone Batty followed a similar premise.