Return to Plain Awful

"Return to Plain Awful" is a Donald Duck storyline that was originally printed during the Gladstone Publishing run of Donald Duck Adventures, issue #12. It was written by Don Rosa as a sequel to "Lost in the Andes!" by Carl Barks, to commemorate that story's 40th anniversary.

Plot
Donald Duck and his nephews journey back to Plain Awful and this time Scrooge McDuck goes with them. Scrooge plans to buy some square eggs from the natives while Donald and the nephews plan to return the roosters they brought back from their first visit. Unfortunately Flintheart Glomgold also wants the square eggs and again serves as Scrooge's unscrupulous rival.

In Plain Awful, the ducks discover that, since their last visit, the highly imitative residents have sculpted their entire culture around the appearance and personality of Donald Duck (just as they had previously built their entire culture around the personality of their previous visitor). One aspect of Plain Awful's culture that has remained constant, however, is the law forbidding round objects, which Scrooge inadvertently violates by showing the natives his Number One Dime. As a result, he is held prisoner in the stone quarries, finishing the square eggs deal for good. However, Plain Awful's "President" (The leader decided to imitate America's system after Donald and his nephews' first visit) offers Scrooge a full pardon and reconsideration of the square eggs deal if they bring him a rare item called "Ice Cream Soda".

Donald and the nephews have to team up with Flintheart to deliver an Ice Cream soda to the President of Plain Awful: Donald and the nephews need Flintheart to get the soda and Flintheart needs guidance back to civilisation since he arrived at Plain Awful just by a stroke of luck. Flintheart, of course, betrays them after getting the soda, forcing them to improvise making an ice cream soda on the spot, using dried milk, sugar and chocolate from their ration packs, plus some snow and carbonated water from a fire extinguisher.

Meanwhile, the natives start imitating Flintheart and Scrooge. This causes the President, (now the "Chairman of the board") to want a new item called "money" instead of the ice cream soda, in the hope that they will have something to store in Plain Awful's newly made money bin. Since Flintheart has spent all his cash in a helicopter to bring ice cream for the soda (except for a coin, which he wouldn't show after what happened to Scrooge), Scrooge gives one billion dollars (in bills) for his freedom. Plain Awful's "chairman" happily accepts the money, but to Scrooge and Flintheart's horror, the bills are chopped in two (leaving perfect square halves) and put on public display inside the bin.

Scrooge and Flintheart are so disgusted by this that they want nothing more to do with Plain Awful, abandoning their aspirations of gaining export rights to the square eggs. The story ends with Huey, Dewey and Louie leaving a copy of the Junior Woodchuck's Guide as a farewell gift to the natives, and Donald making fun of Scrooge and his famous motto, since the natives made their first billion "by being tougher than the toughies and smarter than the smarties! And they made it SQUARE!"