Ernest Errol Quinch was an alien college student whose gleefully anarchic adventures with his friend Waldo 'D.R.' Dobbs included avenging himself on a judge who sentenced him for a long list of crimes, accidentally turning his best friend's girlfriend into a homicidal maniac, joining the army and filming the epic movie Mind the Oranges, Marlon. D.R. and Quinch first appeared in a Time Twisters strip in 2000 AD before graduating to their own title due to popular demand.
D.R. and Quinch's first story under their own title was 'D.R. & Quinch Go Straight', in 2000 AD progs 350 to 351. It described how they bought the house next to that of Judge Thorkwung, who was trying them for a variety of heinous crimes, and turned it into 'Massacre House', a charitable institution for the rehabilitation of what D.R. called "dangerous maniac ex-servicemen in need of love and understanding." The residents were their mentally unbalanced friend Pulger, a veteran of the Ghoyogi slime jungle wars, and his equally disturbed brothers-in-arms. D.R. thoughtfully provided them with frag-mines, guns and a quad-engine stratocopter with thirty air-to-ground warpedoes (presumably for therapeutic purposes).The tranquillity of Judge Thorkwung's peaceful suburban neighbourhood was somewhat disturbed by D.R. and Quinch's altruistic endeavour. Nevertheless, the mayor was so impressed by the charitable initiative that when D.R. and Quinch told him that it was all Judge Thorkwung's idea, the grateful judge acquitted them on the spot, erasing their crimes from the computer files. Unfortunately, as soon as he had done this a deputation from the Ghoyogian embassy, invited there by D.R., arrived. The ensuing carnage was blamed on Judge Thorkwung and caused hostilities with Ghoyogi to resume, much to the delight of Pulger and his comrades, who promptly re-enlisted. D.R. and Quinch's friendship was nearly derailed when the former underwent a personality change after falling in love with Chrysoprasia, the ultra-nice daughter of his drama coach. This episode was the subject of the story 'D.R. & Quinch Go Girl Crazy!' in 2000 AD progs 352 to 354. The infatuated D.R. told his beloved that Quinch was "this kid in the slow reading group up at college" whom he was helping with his studies because "he's unbelievably stupid." He then took Quinch and Chrysoprasia to the local youth club, a time described by his disgruntled friend as "the most incredibly boring evening of my life." Quinch retaliated by kidnapping Chrysoprasia and forcing her to watch home movie footage of D.R.'s past adventures.
Chrysoprasia immediately decided to transform herself into a booze-swilling, gun-toting thug in order to be 'worthy' of D.R. Initially startled by this metamorphosis, Quinch quickly decided to aid Chrysoprasia in a crime spree. She used a speeding hovercar to burst into the theatre where D.R. was performing in The Bleating Heart and gun down the audience. Horrified at her personality change, D.R. told the police that she was responsible for the scores of dead theatre-goers, letting Quinch off the hook (he had been driving the hovercar). He then decided that his infatuation for Chrysoprasia must have been the result of temporary insanity caused by trace chemicals. Charmed by his best friend's gift of a thorium bomb, he left with Quinch to bomb the vegan takeaway he blamed for his condition. Chrysoprasia was removed by the police.
In 'D.R. & Quinch Get Drafted' (2000 AD progs 355 to 359), D.R. and Quinch were forced to join the army. After wandering in the slime jungles for hours they gunned down a bunch of soldiers, which led D.R. to descant movingly on the horrors of a war which forced them to kill a group of young men who bore a remarkable resemblance to their own platoon. The hapless duo were then informed that their victims were, in fact, their own platoon, whom they had accidentally pulverised with a devastating barrage of not-very-friendly fire. Quinch and D.R. ended up locked in a penal stockade on Ghoyogi with Pulger. They escaped via a snufflegruff tunnel but Pulger had to fend off a monstrous, slavering snufflegruff with a gun made of soap while his friends made a run for it. The end of the tunnel brought them to a cell occupied by none other than Chrysoprasia, who had become a mercenary.Quinch, D.R., Chrysoprasia and Pulger (who had survived his encounter with the snufflegruff) ended up trapped between two opposing armies. Just as all seemed lost a brilliant light shone from the heavens and an enormous spaceship descended. The hatchway opened and what D.R. called an "unbelievably disgusting" being composed of a skyscraper-sized "quivering mass" with "huge, blubbery lips" emerged, crushing the belligerent soldiers. It was Quinch's mother, summoned by a letter from D.R. She whisked the four friends away in her "cosy inter-cosmic mega-palace", treating them to tea, scones and, for Quinch, a haunch of meat bigger than his head. It was an incredibly moving demonstration of the power of maternal love.
In 'D.R. & Quinch Go To Hollywood' (2000 AD progs 363 to 367) the pair became movie directors after finding a couple of tickets to Hollywood in the pocket of dead scriptwriter Torquetto Jubbli. Their cinematic masterpiece Mind the Oranges, Marlon! was named after the regrettable incident when their lead actor was crushed to death under the pile of sixteen thousand oranges that D.R. had insisted were vital to the plot (along with the nuns, the flamingoes, the women dressed as giant crabs and the piles of decomposing fish).
Powers and AbilitiesEdit
Brute strength; pretty much any criminal activity you care to mention.
Greater than human.
Whatever he can nick.
Anything that will create an almighty explosion.
- D.R. and Quinch share a house at 8 Gotterdammerung Crescent.
- Appearances of Ernest Errol Quinch
- Images featuring Ernest Errol Quinch
- Quotations by or about Ernest Errol Quinch
- Character Gallery: Ernest Errol Quinch